Life Update

It's been a whirlwind of a year...in which I haven't blogged once. Not that that comes as a shock to anyone.

Bailey is now just about a year old, and goes by many names: BC (Bailey Cat or Bad Cat, depending on the day), Trouble, Menace, Hooligan, and Bully are the most common. He's all kinds of ridiculous and crazy, but he also still loves to cuddle and make sure you know he's there.

I started Grad School, but am currently taking a break due to other developments which I will get into next. I've also begun a credentialing program.

Most notably, though, I am preparing to MOVE. You heard it right, people, this girl is finally moving out on her own. And the most exciting part is that I'm moving 1000 miles away. Yep. To a new state. Texas. Getting out of the desert! (Except I'm moving to another desert so does it really count?) That credentialing program I mentioned? Yeah. It's for Texas, and that's also why I'm taking the break from Grad School. Once I have my credential and have established residency, then I'll go back and finish. I'm so excited, y'all. This is a huge and scary adventure, but it also feels so right and beautiful. Being in an LDR is not for the faint of heart, nor would I recommend it. But the LD part will be gone for good in 17 days.

I cannot wait for this new chapter of life. It's certainly going to be an adventure, and there will more than likely be times that I want to run back home to the time when everything was cheaper and easier, but that's okay. That's how this is supposed to work, isn't it? So here. We. Go.

Joshua 1:9 ESV
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

A New Addition

So, I accidentally adopted a kitten this week...

It all started on Monday, when I I was cleaning out my classroom, doing all of the end of the year things a teacher is responsible for. I heard the most pitiful sounding "Mew" from somewhere, and intentionally didn't go looking for it. I'm a sucker for baby animals of any description, and cats are definitely my weakest of all weaknesses. But then, as I was driving off to grab lunch, I caught a glimpse of it and vowed then and there that I would take it when I got back if nobody else had.

Nobody else had.

I gathered up the little squirmy ball of fluff and took him back to my room while trying to decide what exactly I was going to do. First things first: get this boy to the vet; figure out how sick he might be. We ended up at 4 different vets--the first was closed, the second couldn't get us in until four, the third couldn't get us in until the following evening, and the fourth vet wasn't even in. So we settled for the 4:00. The vet confirmed that he had some worms, but all things considered, he was a pretty healthy 3-4 week old Bengal mix. I didn't intend to keep him. I put some posts out on social media hoping someone would be willing to give him a home.

No one did.

By Wednesday, I was in love with him and very much regretting my decision to bring him home in the first place. But what was done was done. On Thursday, I went back to the vet to pick up some medicine for him, and here we are. Friday. And my family is one animal larger.

Meet Bailey.

Bailey likes running, jumping, climbing, playing, and other cats...specifically their tails. He is a skilled user of teeth and claws, and I'm already dreaming of the day that he outgrows the violent kitten stage. My fingers and furniture are anxiously awaiting that time. But for now, this is where we are, and where we are looks pretty dang adorable.

[Book Review] Surviving Antarctica: Reality TV 2083

Surviving Antarctica [Andrea White]

Rating: 2/5

I picked this book up when I found myself subbing for two weeks. I jumped into chapter 21 with the students and was very confused, as one is wont to be when starting from the middle. So I went back to the beginning to catch up. 

The whole time, I was plagued with mixed feelings. The concept of this book is cool: a dystopian society that selected 5 kids to reenact an expedition through Antarctica? Yes. Good. I'm on board. However, the execution of the story left a lot to be desired. Two of the characters were entirely indistinguishable from each other until the last 30 pages or so, and I didn't connect with any of them at all. 

The gravity of the kids' situation is never really delved into...there are so many scenes that could be catastrophic, but just peter out after a page or two. I found the writing be dull; I understand that it is written for a young audience, but the vocabulary really could have been improved significantly. 

My biggest issue with the book, though, came with the resolution of the story. It just ends. As a reader, I felt let down. I won't give things away, but the end was supremely unsatisfying in my estimation. Things wrapped up far too nicely, and the way it concluded brought up bigger questions about how the plot progressed as a whole. It created more plot holes than it filled. For me, the resolution killed any positive impression I had of this book. 

Honestly, I'm so disappointed that this is required reading for a class. This is one of those books that I feel will turn the kids off to reading, simply because the story isn't as well thought out as it could have been. 

Overall, I was underwhelmed.  

[Book Review] Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice [Jane Austen]

Rating: 5/5

I wanted so badly to not like Pride and Prejudice, or at the very least, be underwhelmed by it. Prior to reading this, my exposure to the story included 5 or 6 failed attempts to read it, one viewing of the Kiera Knightly version of the film roughly 10 years ago, and three viewings of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. But all that aside, I sat down a week ago and decided to give it another shot...mostly because I couldn't justify reading PPZ when I hadn't yet read the original. It was a means to an end, really.

I didn't expect to fall so in love with it. I really didn't. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I didn't expect to fall in love with Mr. Darcy (mostly because he's basically the human version of a cat. I love cats.) I didn't expect to be thoroughly amused by Mr. Bennet, and let's be honest, he's probably my favorite character in the book. I didn't expect to be so mad at Lydia and Wickham so often. I didn't expect to care so much, but here I sit, yet another girl that is completely sucked in to the beauty of this story.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grinning like an idiot through most of the book. Seriously, my cheeks hurt. It's absurd. I get why so many people love this story. I feel like I'm cheating on Persuasion, which has held the place of my favorite Austen novel for five years. Whether P&P has actually replaced it remains to be seen. I'd have to give Persuasion another read to be able to make that final claim, but it's certainly a very close second at the least.  I'm sad that it took me so long to read it, but I'm excited to spend the foreseeable future on the Pride and Prejudice bandwagon.

Real Life

Guys. I graduated from college. And now I'm a "real adult".

I don't feel like a real adult, or like I've joined "real life". What does that feel like? What does that even mean? I always assumed I would feel like an adult when I got to college, because in my perfect Mind Palace, I moved out when I went to school. But we all know that didn't happen, so I did some shifting and decided I would feel like an adult when I started a "real job". Then I spent last summer working in a grocery store. It could be considered a real job, but again, what does that even mean? And I still didn't feel any different. So I figured that it would all start to make sense when I graduated. Surely that would make me a "real adult" in "real life", especially if I got a "real job". Well, here I am. Graduated, working for Parks and Rec, with a teaching position to commence in August, and a coaching position to commence on Monday. Yet even here, at this point in my life, I don't feel like a real adult. It would be so easy for me to say, "oh, when I move out. THEN I'll be a real adult. 100%" But somehow, I think it won't feel like it will be then, either. So here's the conclusion I've come to: There's no determining factor that makes you an official grown up, and real life has been happening all along. Adult things happen, like getting a job, graduating college, paying your own bills, getting married, etc., but there is no exact formula. It just kind of...happens. And maybe it hasn't happened to me. Maybe it never will. Maybe I'll never wake up and realize that adulthood has finally begun. Maybe I'll spend the rest of my life just floundering, pretending like I know what I'm doing. And maybe that's okay, because life is about learning. But that also doesn't mean that the life I've lived up to now has been invalid.

When I sat down to write this post, I had a very different direction in mind. I was going to gush about my recent accomplishment, the amazing way in which God has lined everything up for me, and how excited I am to start this new phase of my life. Because it all happened, and it's all true. God has blessed me in incredible ways these past few months, and I am so excited for the road ahead. But the fears and concerns are very real too, and as much as I try to keep it hidden, they're always just under the surface waiting to bubble over. I'm scared because I'm a part of this "real world", and I feel so out of place. In a recent conversation* with a very dear friend, it was brought up that "people are so focused on the illusion of 'settled' that they forget to let the newcomers in on the secret that nobody actually knows what's going on".

So this is me, explicitly stating that I have no idea what I'm doing with my future, and that is okay, because I'm going to figure it out. I'm continuing in real life, armed with the all-knowing God of the Universe, the wisdom of my elders, and How to Adult YouTube videos.

*and by recent I mean it happened while I was writing this blog post...

Matthew 6:34 ESV "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

[Book Review] Human Croquet

 

Human Croquet [Kate Atkinson]

Rating: 5/5

I originally gave Human Croquet a 4/5, but now that I've been removed from it for about a week and have had time to mull it over a little, I've bumped it up.

I had to read this book for a class, and I knew absolutely nothing about it going in. I'd never heard of either the book or the author. When it arrived in the mail, all I could focus on was how whimsical and fun the cover looked. Then I read the synopsis on the back. The first line says, "Part fairy tale, part mystery, part coming-of-age novel, this is the story of Isobel Fairfax, a girl growing up in Lythe, a typical 1960's British suburb."

WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT FROM A BOOK??

I'm not going to go into too much about the plot, because I think not knowing about it adds to the fun of it. 

That being said, there is so much to consider in this book. It literally has a little bit of everything: fairy tale references, Shakespeare, time travel, alien conspiracy theories, disappearances, a general air of mystery, etc. It also deals with a LOT of bigger issues such as domestic violence, kidnapping, prostitution, and death. Like I said: literally everything. There was a lot more depth to this novel than I anticipated. It also is one of the most spectacularly written books I've read. As  I was going through it, I spent most of the time being really frustrated because I wasn't every exactly sure what was going on, and I had no clue how it was all going to work out. I also wasn't convinced that I was going to get closure in the end. Then, after I finished it, I still couldn't articulate my feelings about it or what happened. But even though I was as frustrated and confused as I was, I was still in love with the book and characters. I still cared about what was going on. Lots of conflicting feelings. All the time.

It's one of those books that needs to be read twice. The first time, so you can get the basics of the story, and then a second time, so you can see exactly where certain things are mentioned and how it all ties together. Human Croquet is quite brilliantly written, especially when you take the time to go back and see how/where Atkinson sets things up, because it is subtle. There were several tiny and seemingly insignificant details from the first 50 pages of the book that result in much greater plot points towards the end. It's fantastic!! 

This book is so much fun, and kind of all over the place, but it is an awesome experience. Especially if you like weird, down-the-rabbit-hole sorts of tales. (Seriously, there are SO MANY references to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. So many.)

[Book Review] Interview with the Vampire

 

Interview with the Vampire [Anne Rice]
Rating: 3.5/5
I was really excited to start this book. It's been sitting on my shelf for four years or so, and I finally decided it was time to sink my teeth into it. (See what I did there? HA!)*

Overall, I enjoyed it. That is to say, I enjoyed the plot and the things that Rice focuses on through the lens of the narrator and protagonist, Louis. Perhaps my favorite theme throughout  the story is that of perspective. Like any good story from a vampire's perspective, there is a relatively high regard for mortal life and a displeasure towards the necessary evil of his dietary habits. Beyond that, however, Rice uses Louis to comment on the value of humanity (despite our frequent failure to see it), the nature of change, and how the two work hand in hand. It is through his immortality that he begins to appreciate life, and he "condemn[ed] all fruitless guilt and passion that would let it slip through the fingers like sand". He also comes to realize that the only thing that is constant is change. There is a conversation near the end of the book that really hones in on this: the desire for immortality comes from a desire to remain forever in the time that is known--not taking into consideration the inevitable changes that come.
I also really enjoy Rice's writing style. There were times that she phrased things in really cool ways. There were awesome little tidbits scattered throughout the novel, and they made me pause and think for a while, which I enjoyed. The downside of that was the novel didn't move nearly as quickly as I had anticipated it to.  

Unfortunately, I was generally disappointed in the characters. There were none that I was overly fond of, either good or bad. I appreciated Louis and his perspective on things, particularly in contrast to Lestat, his companion. Lestat is the summation of the stereotypical vampire, and there isn't much depth to him, particularly in the light that Louis paints him. I really think that both Louis and Lestat could have been significantly more dynamic. Claudia was by far my favorite character. She possesses some of the insight that Louis exudes, while being simultaneously the ruthless predator that Lestat is. Her struggles are of a different nature than Louis', and they aren't developed near to the extent that his are, yet I found myself more intrigued by her than either Louis or Lestat. I felt that she possesses a depth that the other characters didn't.

As a reader, I care more about the depth and development of the characters than I do about the plot. I think I would have enjoyed this book far more if I were the other way around. The story was excellent, but I didn't relate to the characters on the level I would have liked. That being said, I would still  highly recommend Interview with the Vampire.



*Okay. I should apologize. That really was terrible.

A New Thing

Happy New Year! This is the time that people sit down and reflect on the past 365 days, and resolve to make changes. I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, but I do like fresh starts. I'm a huge fan of fresh starts, actually. It's why I love the first day of school, New Year celebrations, cracking open a new book, coming home from a vacation, and all that jazz. This is my "fresh start" to my blog.

If you know me at all, then you are well aware of the fact that I enjoy reading from time to time. I mean, I'm the kind of girl who selects a purse based on whether or not I can fit a book in it. (Hence my refusal to use a clutch in the rare event that that's a viable option.) Anyway, I'm always in the middle of one book or another, and I've come to the realization that I'd like to talk about them upon their conclusion. So, I'm going to start reviewing some of them as I go along. In a perfect world, I'd aspire to review all of them, but we all know that I'm bad at keeping up with things like this. These aren't going to be super in-depth reviews; they're just going to be a way for me to sort out what I like/dislike about a book, so that I have a record of my thoughts should I ever choose to revisit them.

I'm hoping that in doing this I will not only create this record of my scattered and fleeting thoughts, but that it will also make me visit my blog with a bit more regularity. Again, if you've been here before, you know that that's a thing I've wanted for the past two years.

My Goodreads goal for this year is 50 books. Within that, I hope to read at least 12 classics, and also expand my horizons a bit, generally speaking. I found a reading challenge that has 50 books on it, but it isn't specific books. It is more along the lines of suggestions (a Pulitzer Prize winner, something set in the future, a book with a one word title, etc), most of which will help with the diversifying of my reading habits. So we will see how that goes. There is also a challenge floating around the internet known as #0by16, and the purpose of this is to get your TBR stack down to zero by 2016. Ideally, I'd accomplish this, but I think that's more than I can chew at this point in time. If I get my 50 down, though, that will help tremendously. 

So there you have it. My sort-of resolution that isn't really a resolution. Books. Discussions. Excitement. Huzzah!

PSA

I wanted to title this post "Things the Kid Ringing Up Your Groceries Wants You to Know", but that was just too long, so I'm going to call it what it is: a public service announcement.

I've spent this summer enjoying learning about the things that come along with working a real, actual job. I've learned not only a myriad of different numbers that represent different fruits and veggies, but I've also learned that shopping carts can be dangerous, Wellness mats are the bee's knees, and sometimes, people can be difficult.

Most of the people I've encountered through my job have been simply delightful individuals. Of course, there are always those few that make my job less fun. So without further ado, here are some things I wish everyone in the world knew/adhered to.

Talking on the phone is rude. Talking on the phone while getting your groceries (or merchandise) rung up might not seem like a big deal,  but to the person behind the register, it is. When your attention is elsewhere, your cashier feels as though they are interrupting something when they just want to ask how your day is or inform you of your total. That's what they are there for. Suspending your call for the short amount of time needed shows that you at least recognize that there is a face-to-face interaction at hand. That's helpful.

Dividers are there for a reason. When you don't use one of the provided dividers or make it explicitly clear where your things begin and someone else's end, you run the risk of unwanted overlap. Dividers are your friend. If you aren't going to leave a space roughly half the length of the belt, please use one...a couple of inches isn't enough differentiation. Just because you know where the dividing line is, doesn't mean the cashier does.

I don't know the price of everything in the store. If you tell me that your kid drank a single-serving bottle of milk and threw it away before you got to the register, I'm not going to be able to ring it up. Even if you tell me what brand it is. Bar codes, folks. Bar codes.

It's not my fault. Cashiers don't make the rules. They don't set the prices. They don't stock shelves. They don't program things into the computers. If there is a discrepancy of some sort, please don't take it out on us. Don't get mad that I don't know the price of your kid's milk. If you look like you're 16 and don't have a valid photo ID, I can't sell you cigarettes. I just can't. Also, if you aren't willing to abide by the coupon rules, you can't get the coupon price. That would be anarchy and a complete disaster. If you don't like our promotions, that's okay, but don't go off on the cashier telling them that the system is a scam and they need to fix it, because it's not, and they can't.

Pay attention to the light. If the light for the register number is off, that cashier is unavailable. No, you can't just sneak in because you think it'll be quick--because other people see you and try the same thing. The next thing you know, the cashier has been there for an extra 20 minutes. Your cashier probably has had to pee for a couple hours and needs to go on break...or home after a 10 hour shift. They turned the light off so they could indicate they are just finishing helping the customer they are with.

Please don't yell at us. Occasionally, we do screw up. I'd like to tell you we don't, but that would be a lie. When that happens, please be gracious about it. It was more than likely an honest mistake. Going off on us will not help the situation even a little bit. Also, we aren't allowed to yell back, so that gives you an unfair advantage. We have a lot more going on that we have to be mindful of than you might think. When we have bad encounters, it makes being pleasant for future guests that much harder, and it isn't fair to them. This one boils down to simple Golden Rule stuff.

Now, I realize that I live in a broken world, and to expect everyone to be friendly and understanding all the time is impossible. But being aware of the other side of things can't hurt.

Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV
Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Wrecking Havoc

Story time! For months I've been eying Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith every time I walk through the books at Target, thinking to myself, "Self, that looks like fun. You should get one." Then, during this last quarter (possibly the one before it), one of my very dear friends pulled one out of her backpack while excitement dripped from every essence of her being, further perpetuating my notion of fun. Then finally, yesterday, I found myself in Target's books, and I bought one.

For those of you who may not know what Wreck This Journal is, it's a book with a different instruction on each page with the intent to ruin this bound volume. Some of the suggestions include things like ripping out pages and folding them into a paper airplane, or spilling your coffee all over it, or coloring/drawing lines, or making a general mess of things.

I have a problem with liking things beautiful and pristine. I buy notebooks and don't write in them because I don't want to ruin them. But here I have something tangible, telling me to ruin it. It really goes against my nature, but I'm reminding myself that is the PURPOSE of this book. Of course, there are some instructions that I don't think are good ideas at all (licking a page with a candy stained tongue or using a page as a napkin just seems like a recipe for ants...and I overreact to swarms of ants in my room*), so we'll see how I deal with those. But in the meantime, it's liberating to have something that I can exact the inevitable messiness of life upon.

I Peter 5:10 ESV
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

*In the summer of 2011, I had a package of DumDum lollipops on my desk leftover from Halloween that was found by a massive swarm of ants. They were all over my desk, my computer, the wall, etc. I panicked, and ended up spraying down that whole corner of my room with Raid, I threw away bags and bags of unnecessary "stuff" that lived in my room (major declutter process), and for good measure, I repainted my whole room and reorganized all my furniture. And I love the result. (Seriously, my room is awesome and vibrant now). But to say it was an overreaction is an understatement...

Refreshing Freshness

This morning I was wasting my life away enjoying some Pinterest time, and I was inspired to do something creative. However, since I'm not at home, I'm not near my sewing machine, scrapbooks, smash books, my room, or anything else that I can revamp. That left me with one other outlet: here. So I took a leaf out of Clarissa's book and played around with settings and new websites and such, and well, this is what I came up with. It's vibrant and orange and obnoxious and I am rather fond of it all. Sometimes you just need a little freshness in your life.

I also realize that I haven't posted anything since finishing school. Sorry. I was recovering. Anywho, I've returned to the Midwest for the summer and let me tell you this is a whole different ballgame than it was last year. Last year, my brother was working a crazy schedule, my sister-in-law was out of town most of the summer training for a new job, and I spent the beautiful summer days sitting on the couch watching Netflix and reading books. This year both Kyhl and Charity are here, and working normal, daytime hours. I also was blessed to find a job in a grocery store near the apartment.  God has heaped blessings on me this summer, y'all. I feel refreshed, in more than just the I'm-in-a-new-environment sort of way.


My soul feels refreshed. This summer has been significantly more stormy than the one I experienced last summer, and I don't do well with storms. I can barely handle thunder and lightning, but when you add the possibility of tornadoes I become a hyperventilating puddle of uselessness. But through these storms, I've been reminded that my God is bigger than it all. He is bigger than the storms of life, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. And that is comforting to my terrified soul indeed.

Hebrews 1:3a ESV
"[The Son] is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power..."

Breaths of Freedom

*inhale* *exhale* Those are breaths of freedom. Yes, I made it through my junior year of college. EEP!! That makes me a senior. *PANIC* ...
This quarter was a lot, but I made it. And I think I did fairly well. Not as spectacularly as I could have, I'm sure, but well. I have one class that I know I got an A in...due to his weighted grading system, it will probably be a B, but I earned an A, and I feel pretty good about my other three classes. This is so encouraging in comparison to some other quarters I've had.

But on to more important things. SUMMER.

I suddenly find myself with free time. Genuine free time. No papers. No mandatory blog posts. Reading for fun. Oh my goodness. I nearly forgot what reading for fun was! In my excitement, I bought nine (yes, nine) new books over the last two weeks. I'm so jazzed! I now get a few days to mill lazily around the house before I go back to Iowa for the summer. (Where I think I have a job lined up! BLESSINGS.) I'm so excited to get to see the fam-bam, and hopefully there will be more hanging out this year than last year.

I have so much to be thankful for and excited about. I'm taking time to appreciate that, while trying to recover from the extreme exhaustion this quarter caused. So if you don't mind, I'm off to take a nap, then sit down with a book for who knows how long.

Happy Summer, Friends!!

Isaiah 30:18 ESV
Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

In the Thick of It...

Yeah. Next to no free time. The little bit that I do get is filled with the nagging thoughts of unchecked items on my To Do lists. It's sad. =( But it also means that I've been so ridiculously productive in the last three weeks. I actually think I've been more consistently, academically productive in the last three weeks than I have been in...probably four years.

Because of my schedule and carpooling, I have three and a half (+) hours of down time where I just sit in the library and do homework before my first class. I'm pleased to say that I'm actually utilizing that time the best I can, instead of wasting it away on Pinterest or Tumblr. And I've been so pleasantly surprised with how satisfying the feeling of productivity is. I really love the feeling of crossing things off my list. It's the bee's knees.

In other news, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matthew 28:5-6 NIV
The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay..."

Oh Boy...

I finished my first week of this quarter and have come to the conclusion that I will have next to no free time during the next 10 weeks. This quarter is going to be incredibly time-consuming and project-laden, and it will require no small amount of effort. I'm attempting my first online class, maintaining a second blog* as part of a quarter-long project, and reading. Endless reading. My book stack for school stands 17 novels high, and while some of them are simple reads (The Hunger Games, The Kite Runner, and The Catcher in the Rye), some of them are not so simple (The Odyssey, Gulliver's Travels, and Heart of Darkness). I've had two days of classes thus far and I've finished one of the books on my reading list; my goal is to finish two more this week. So we'll see how that goes.

I'm hoping that I manage to stay on top of everything and not get too overwhelmed with my schedule, because this has the potential to be a really good, really interesting quarter. But while I sit here writing this, I am shaking in my metaphorical boots with the worry that is ebbing around the periphery of my mind. My fragile wall of confidence will not withstand any cracks, and if I get behind on even one assignment, my state of mental sanity will collapse like the walls of Jericho. I know this. God knows this. Making it through this quarter will be nothing short of a miracle. If I hold up to my end, God will hold up to His. Therefore I'm committing here and now, publicly, to be The Little Engine That Could. In the past I've complained that being productive is exhausting, because (let's face it) it is. But that will merely be a hurdle. A hurdle is an obstacle meant to be completely cleared, not lingered on.

So this is me. Taking off running, clearing hurdles, armed with highlighters, lists, and prayer.


Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

*If you are just dying to read about my class and the news (etc.), you can follow my school blog here.

Big Things are Happening

I don't even know where to begin this post. I'm not one of the movers and shakers of this, but I want to do what I can to help, so bear with me as I fumble around here.

I guess I should start with Clarissa. If you've been around Daisies and Daydreams before, you might recognize my very dear friend Clarissa from Blunders & Blessings. Well, she has moved from B&B to Clarissa Doesn't Explain It All. And with this move, God has her doing big things. I still don't know all the ins and outs of it, despite her graciously telling me about it several times. What I do know, however, is it involves an organization called No. 41, Rwanda, employing and empowering women and, in turn, feeding hungry children. (For a more in depth explanation of all the amazing goodness going on, check out the No. 41 link above or this post on Clarissa's blog. No. 41 also has a blog keeping inquiring minds informed.) This year, God has called Clarissa to go big in her support of this organization. She has opened a shop on Instagram called @shefeltlovely in which she is selling absolutely adorable handmade headbands with the full proceeds going to support No. 41. Her goal is to sponsor 50 children by April 1 (4-1), and she is halfway there. So if you are a fan of darling headpieces and/or being used by God to further His kingdom, you should check it all out. #headbands4fullbellies

Galatians 5: 13-14 NIV
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself".

Thoughts From a Monday Afternoon

Nostalgia and reminiscence abounded in my brain this afternoon. I have about a million things on my to do list for this week (including a 12 page paper that I haven't started), and I got distracted. Not that that's anything new.

It began yesterday afternoon. I saw a friend from high school whom I love dearly, and still try to talk to on occasion, but our lives and schedules often get in the way. Then, this afternoon, I found myself scrolling through some of my old pictures on Facebook. I was quickly reminded of why I drop my head in shame whenever I think of fashion choices I made in my high school days (the day I decided to give up on eye shadow altogether was one of great rejoicing), and of how absurdly awkward I am. I was also reminded of how thankful I am to NOT be in High School anymore. Whoever said those were the best four years of your life must have been a very sad individual indeed.

Of course, not all memories are as uncomfortable as those. I found some pictures from a beach trip a group of my friends (including the aforementioned) and I took right after we graduated. There were only a handful of us, and the pictures opened the floodgates of good times. I was saddened, suddenly wishing for those friendships again--none of them are the same now as they were that day. I miss the easy fluidity with which we conversed, talking about nothing and having it mean something. Now, it's all about the simple "how are you"s with no real answer because you just don't know them anymore. You can't delve into what happened last week because the context is all wrong, and there are too many gaping holes in the fabric that once kept you together.

I get sad when I think of these friends that have moved away and moved on, because I so often feel as though I've been left at the starting point, abandoned. I didn't get to move away to experience adventures. Not yet, anyway. I still live with my parents, in the house in the town I grew up in. Nothing has changed.

Except that it has.

Everything is different, even though it looks exactly the same. I wasn't abandoned by these people. I didn't stagnate here in our memories. I too have moved on, albeit differently. My priorities are different. My friends are different. Everything important, really. Time can be cruel, severing those connections you treasure or altering them ever so slightly--so it seems the same, but there is a subtle vibe that pulses it's mantra of different. different. different. But it also brings good change. New faces, new friends.

So yeah. I miss parts of my past, and I don't like that those relationships aren't as easy and familiar as they were. But I love the parts of my present that have appeared.

Psalm 59: 17 NIV
You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.

Update!!

I just wanted to give you an update, in case you are interested, on the matter discussed in my last post. I ended up with a mere 2 1/4 pages worth of material...It was supposed to be four. I stumbled over my words like a baby deer just learning to walk stumbles over it's legs. (Except it wasn't cute and adorable. It was just awkward and painful). But after hours of sitting in front of a blank screen with a blinking cursor, I decided that was as good as it was going to get for that assignment and I called it a night. With my head hung low, I turned it in the following day and waited for the inevitable F--praying for some sort of Divine intervention in the clarity department, and promising myself I'd do better with the next one.

Fast forward to the next class. My professor handed the essays back and I just sat at my desk for as long as I could without flipping to the back page to see the grade. Why I was so melodramatic about it, I don't know. I already knew it wasn't good, so why prolong the agony? Anyway. I finally mustered up the courage to check. There, staring me in the face, was a capital C, preceded by the words "feel free to revise for a higher grade". I was elated. IT WAS A PASSING GRADE. Then I flipped through and saw that she made all sorts of helpful suggestions throughout the course of the analysis. HUGE BLESSING.

I haven't had an opportunity to revise it yet, but I have a long weekend this weekend, so I should get it resubmitted on Tuesday. I'm pretty jazzed about it, especially since I think I get it now. I have also since written a second one of these, on which I managed 3 full pages in an hour and a half and received a perfectly acceptable grade (B+). With two more of these in tow, I'm feeling confident that I might not be such a horrible linguistics student after all. It still isn't my favorite area of study, but it is fascinating, and I can appreciate it as a field.

Hebrews 4:16 ESV
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. 

Procrastinating

So, I'm gonna let y'all know that I'm blogging right now because I don't want to write a paper that's due tomorrow. Yes. I'm procrastinating writing one thing by writing another thing...I often do the same with books....what does that say about me? Hm.

Anyway, I'm taking this linguistics class this quarter, and I have never felt more out of place in a class than I do in there--Math classes included; that's saying something. Linguistics is so not my area of expertise. Nearly everyone else in that class is totally comfortable with the subject and even excited about it. And here I sit, completely horrified because I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm supposed to be writing this analysis on...something. I don't even know what I'm looking for, let alone how to articulate it and discuss it's importance. What do I do? Where do I start? Help!!

Wait...I'm having one of those "aha" moments. Maybe this is going to be my lesson for 2014. Last year was all about learning experiences. Is this one going to be about doing things that scare me? Jumping in head first? Yikes. That sounds terrifying. And yet, it's not something I have much experience with. I like my safe little box in which I am comfortable and understand things. I like this little box almost as much as I like lists.

Man. I hate these epiphanies because now I have to respond to it. I can't just sit and pretend that it didn't occur (as much as I might like to). *sigh* Well, alright. Here goes, I guess. Here's to jumping in and finding my way as I go.

2 Corinthians 12:9a ESV
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

Heralding the New Year

Happy New Year, friends!!!! I know...I'm 17 days late. Sorry.

I've been meaning to come give a little update on life, but I have been having some issues with suffering trauma of the literary nature...I know I mentioned that I might blog about The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, but I just don't think I'll be able to muster up the emotional strength to accomplish it. I very nearly burst into tears just thinking about it. So here's what the main point would be: Just go read it.  Plus I've finished both Divergent and Insurgent (I actually finished Insurgent roughly half an hour ago). Let me tell you, my copy of Divergent had 75 pages of bonus material that I mistook for story. I was so mad when I discovered the truth. My parents came home at eleven pm to me laying on my bed shouting, literally, SHOUTING, at a paperback--and then my mother laughed at me! She doesn't understand. *sigh*

Literary trauma aside, 2014 is shaping up to be quite lovely (And let's face it, the literary trauma does bring me joy. Sick and twisted? Maybe. Regrettable? Not even a little bit.)

I've gone back to school and this quarter...doesn't suck. All of my classes, while not ideal, are tolerable, as are my professors. This is a huge blessing after the last few quarters of majorly aggravating circumstances.

In completely unrelated news, I bought a telephone booth.

True story. It's beautiful. It's not in my house yet, because I just finished paying for it today, but it is beautiful.  It also contains shelves--so it is functional (re: I was able to justify the purchase). Needless to say, I'm super jazzed about it. It should be delivered on Monday. EEP!!!

All in all, it's looking like a beautiful new year.

Psalm 7:17 ESV
I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.

Beauties Blogging Books: Finis

Happy day after Christmas! I hope you and yours had as much joy celebrating the birth of our Savior as my family and I did, and that it was a holiday stuffed full of good memories.

Since my post last week, I finished The Looking Glass Wars, but not before I took a break on Sunday and read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. (If you haven't read it, you should get on that. Stat.  Three reasons why: 1. It's EXCELLENT. 2. It's being made into a movie next year, and I am a firm believer in the book before the movie. 3. It's EXCELLENT!)

Anyway, my journey with Alyss Heart has drawn to a close. I'm saddened, because it was a fun trip. There is something about mystically magical lands that may or may not exists with BA warriors and called off weddings that tickles my fancy. [Disclaimer: I do love weddings and would be mortified if I attended one that got interrupted, but in fictional circumstances, they're great.]

There were two particular scenes in this last portion of the book that I absolutely loved. The first comes when Alyss' tutor is trying to convince her that she IS capable of ruling Wonderland. He says, "Your imagination has not gone, Alyss, because there is nowhere it can go to. It is within you whether you like it or not." This was awesome. And really rather encouraging. Sometimes, during my pathetic attempts at writing my own stories, I feel as though my imagination abandons me. But it doesn't. It's always there. I just have to dig around and find it. My imagination will never go anywhere. It may get buried by the realities of life, but it's still there and I can call it forth at will. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. (If you haven't picked up on this yet, I'm a huge believer in an active imagination. I don't care how old you are. If you don't imagine things, I can't trust you.)

The second scene is when the Blue Caterpillar is having a chat with Alyss about the fact that she fled Wonderland at the beginning of the story. It is sometimes braver to run. "By running, you live to face further uncertainty and trouble...She who runs from her enemies until she has the strength to do otherwise is both brave and wise." Alyss didn't roll over and give up. She booked it out of there, not knowing what she was escaping too, only believing that it had to better than what she left. And it's true. When you escape from something, there is no way of being certain what you are going to. It is diving head first into the unknown, clinging to a shred of hope. If that's not courage, I don't know what is. Of course, there's the whole responsibility thing, and fleeing from that, but that's a whole different story. Alyss came back when needed and was willing to step up to the plate.

In conclusion, I rather enjoyed The Looking Glass Wars.

I'm not certain how far Clarissa is in her month with Emma, but if she still has a ways to go, I may consider blogging The Fault in Our Stars. Or I might just do that anyway, because it was so dang good.

Thanks for hanging out with me through this!