Saturday, March 16, 2013


Another quarter is drawing to a close and that means looking forward. Looking forward to that last final. Looking forward to spring break. Looking forward to the next stage of education. Amidst all this, today something paused my looking forward.

Do you ever have those really odd moments that just seem to hit you and you aren't sure why it's a big deal all of a sudden? I had one of those today. I'm house sitting for my aunt and uncle, and as I was getting ready for bed tonight, I noticed something draped over a shelf that I managed to overlook for the past couple days: a beautiful scarf.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Kelly, what does a scarf have to do with anything?" Usually, I'd tell you that it doesn't have a whole lot to do with anything at all. But not today. This scarf is one of four that my grandmother brought back from Israel after a trip she'd taken with our church several years ago. My grandmother passed away almost five years ago (it'll be five years in June), and she was my best friend. It took me a long time to move on, but as they say, time heals all wounds, and I've been able to comfortably remember all the great times I had with her.  But for some really strange reason (I'm telling you, this is only the second time I've seen this scarf, and it's the first time in probably 7 years) the sight of that scarf reminded me of her. I wasn't expecting it, so in that moment, memories started to flood back and I couldn't fight off the tears.

I don't know why I reacted this way tonight. Not now. Not after so long, and with such a minor prompt. I honestly don't understand why, but tonight has been rough. As  I sit here, I think God is trying to give me a subtle reminder that sometimes, stopping and taking a moment to reflect and reminisce is a good thing. I'm all about moving forward and moving on, but sometimes you need to slow it down and revel in awesome memories. So now, I'm putting a temporary halt on that perpetual forward motion. I'm pausing, and giving myself a moment to breathe, a moment to think, a moment to look back.

I'm not sure if this post makes a whole lot of sense, so I apologize if it's weird. I just felt that I needed to share this, and that maybe someone needed this tonight, too.

Psalm 55:22 NIV
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken."

1 comment:

  1. 1. this post is in no way weird.
    2. I love your heart. Thank you for writing this and sharing.
    3. I get you girl, on Saturday morning I interviewed older women for a women's function at church. They told me their life stories and how it was growing up in the depression, living in the 60's, and plainly living as a woman of God. And the whole time I was thinking "Wow. I miss my Grandma. I never got this chance. This hurts."

    Its not easy to share your hurts,You rock friend!